Part Twelve

It is raining when Cat wakes up. She can hear the drops of water hit the top of her air conditioner as she throws her head beneath a stack of pillows. The feather pillows do nothing to mute the tap tap tap of the rain and she rolls over to look out the window. A gray light filters in from the alleyway behind her building and she watches the water collect in puddles on her window sill. She does not want to get out of bed. She turns over to face the wall; shutting her eyes she tries to force her body back into sleep.

As soon as her toes hit the cool floor of her living room she can hear Dave snoring. The muted noise makes her smile before she remembers that he probably isn’t alone. The morning routine she knows by heart does nothing to distract her tired mind and she sits instead on the sofa staring at the black television screen. Cat knows she has to get out of the apartment. The rain, which cooled the city overnight, traps the growing heat and she if forced to turn on the air conditioning to fight the cloud of humidity that threatens to swallow her apartment. She looks down onto the street and watches a few brave individuals rush through the hard rain darting toward the safety of their final destination. There is no reason to go outside so she sinks back into her couch and waits for something on television to grab her attention. Nothing comes. She puts on her cleaning clothes and takes the yellow gloves from beneath her sink and begins to dismantle her apartment. First she tackles the kitchen, removing the dishes and glassware from her small cupboards and cleaning each shelf, then the counters and the refrigerator. She moves into the bathroom and scrubs the tub and sink before pushing her way through the rest of her apartment. After two long hours she falls into the sofa, her forehead thick with sweat, her eyes watering from the chemicals. She slips into a restless sleep. When she opens her eyes it is almost evening. She listens for Dave upstairs before ducking into the shower to finally clean herself.

The rain hasn’t stopped but Cat is tired of being inside. She grabs an umbrella and heads out to the grocery store. The heat outside is oppressive, and as the warm rain slides down the back of her calves she wonders why she did not order delivery. The two blocks between her building and the store stretch forever as she ducks under awnings and tries to avoid puddles. By the time she reaches the store her shoes are drenched. A burst of cool air gives her a chill as she wipes drops of water from her arms and grabs a basket. She picks through the fresh produce wondering what to cook for dinner and suddenly looks forward to a kitchen full of fragrant vegetables and herbs. Inspired, she plucks tomatoes and basil from the bins and moves quickly to the pasta aisle having decided to prepare her favorite comfort food. A basic tomato sauce with pasta, a caprese salad and good bread, she collects the ingredients and makes another stop at the wine store. She splurges on a good bottle and looks forward to being home alone. Cat knows she needs to get used to spending nights alone at home, that she is going to be single for a while. Missing out on a relationship with Dave stings, but the absence of hope is at least blunt and definitive, unlike the mess with Nick, she has no doubt where she lies with Dave.

As she fumbles with for her keys she hears a voice on the stairs and she just catches a glimpse of Dave as he walks toward his apartment. She opens the door quietly and waits, not wanting to hear about his reconciliation with Heather. She pretends to look in her mailbox as she listens to his conversation.

“I don’t know what to do,” Dave says, “I really like her, but I’m not sure how she feels or if this is even a good idea.”

With each word sadness grips Cat’s positive attitude and drags it down a notch.

“I know, I know, but I’m not sure what to say, or even if she's interested. You know how these things go. And it isn’t like I haven’t been hurt before.” Dave talks as he walks slowly up the stairs.

He really loves her, Cat thinks. There really is no hope, she thought that she knew there was no hope, but hearing him talk about Heather pounds each nail deeper into the coffin and she is suddenly very sad. How could I be so stupid, how did I miss this great guy?

She waits until she hears the door of his apartment open and then close to rush up the stairs. Once she is safely behind her door she puts her bags down and stomps her feet. I’ve got to just get through this. I was single before and I’m still single now and I can do this, Cat tells herself as she unloads the groceries. She puts a pot on the stove and begins to chop the onion and fennel for her tomato sauce. She turns on her stereo and moves through the kitchen to the sounds of her favorite songs. They are not songs she would listen to in mixed company, but in private she likes to sing along with the pop music she loved in seventh grade. A glass of wine sits on the counter and she sips it as she cooks. The ritual takes almost two hours and by the time she ready to cook the pasta she is calm. She knows everything will be alright, even if she can’t imagine how her life will ultimately come together, she knows she will be fine. Better than fine, happy.

Cat reaches into the fridge for a block of parmesan cheese and realizes that she forgot to buy any at the store. She looks at her watch. The store is open for fifteen minutes and if she rushes she can make it. She turns down the heat on her simmering sauce and rushes out the door. The rain has finally stopped leaving a soft wet fog in its place. Cat spits out the thick air as she jogs to the store. Pleased that she didn’t miss her window all together she walks home with a light step. Things are turning my way, she thinks as she rounds the corner onto her block.

“Cat,” she hears from behind her. She slowly turns around. She knows it is Dave and she doesn’t want him to ruin her mood. He is jogging to catch her but a big bulldog slows him down.

“You have a dog?” She asks.

“Yeah, you haven’t met George. He’s my best buddy.” Dave reaches down to pat George’s head. George does not look up.

“I didn’t see him the other night in your apartment.”

“Oh I know, Heather hates him so I had to stuff him into the spare bedroom. He was not happy.” Dave smiles. Cat doesn’t want to ask about Heather.

“How are you?” She asks as they walk the last thirty feet into their building.

“Pretty good. Come on George,” Dave says dragging the dog by the leash. “He is so lazy; I swear he could sleep anywhere.” Dave isn’t looking at her and she wonders if he even wants to be friends anymore. “He snores too. Have you heard him?” He asks.

“The dog snores?” Cat says.

“Yes, it’s so loud. I meant to ask you months ago if it bothers you.”

“Oh my god,” Cat starts to laugh. She chokes down big breaths of air as she leans forward and puts her head between her legs. She is laughing so hard she might start to cry. “That’s George.” She laughs harder. “I thought it was you!” Tears roll down her cheeks and for a moment she worries that she might start to cry in earnest. She is so sad that things with Dave didn’t work out. Looking at him now she realizes how perfect he could have been for her, and what a fool she’s been.

“That’s embarrassing, and you never said anything?” Dave says.

“I’m sorry. I had no idea. Oh my god.” She wipes the tears from her cheeks and smiles at him. “At least it’s all cleared up now, and I don’t have to worry about your narcolepsy anymore.”

“That’s true.”

A wind kicks down the street and suddenly the sky opens up again and they are wet. She runs up the steps and opens the door. Dave and George follow close behind.

“It smells great in your apartment,” Dave says as she opens the door.

“Thanks I’ve been cooking all night. I just forgot one thing,” she says raising the plastic bag in her hand. He shifts his weight and looks at George. “Ok, well see you later.” She says shutting the door before he can say anything else.

Minutes later the snoring starts again and Cat smiles as she takes the pasta from the box and drops it into the boiling water.

There is a knock at the door.

Okay. I can do this, she thinks, we can be friends.

“Hey Dave,” Cat says. He has a bottle of wine in his hand.

“I’m inviting myself over for dinner,” Dave says.

“Oh really, I guess I have enough for one more.” She looks at the feast that is being cooked in her kitchen. “Let me throw some more pasta in the water.”

Dave sits at her small island and watches her.

“Cat, about last night, I’m sorry I was so rude when you came up.” He takes a sip of wine.

“No, no don’t worry about it. I was the asshole the night before. So I guess we’re even.” She says with her back to him.

“You thought I was being an asshole,” he asks.

“No, no, it’s fine. So you’re back together with your girlfriend now, that’s great. I mean that’s what you wanted, right?” She sifts through the wet basil at the sink. She can’t look at him and pretend to be happy for him.

“What?” Dave asks.

“I heard you talking on the phone earlier today about how you really like her and you hope things work out.” She says drying the leaves of basil. She stirs the pasta and checks the time. Her eyes well with tears and she can’t stop them from rolling down her cheeks. She takes a deep breath and tries to collect herself; she can’t let him see her like this. She wipes her face on a wet dish towel.

Dave’s hand is on her back.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

“Oh yeah, fine, just cooking.” She still can’t look at him.

“Cat, look at me,” he says.

She turns slowly to face him. The tears now fall freely and there is nothing she can do to stop them.

“I’m sorry, it’s just been a long weekend,” she says trying to explain the crying without telling him the truth.

“Cat,” he says wiping the tears from her cheek as he puts her face into his hands, “I was talking about you today on the phone. You are the one I want to date.”

She closes her eyes for a second.

“Are you serious,” she asks, “Me?”

“Yes, you, of course you,” Dave smiles.

She lifts her hands and holds onto his wrists. He is standing so close that she can smell his fresh clean shirt.

“What? I thought you we’re going to get back together with Heather.”

“No, things with Heather are long over, Cat, I’ve been practically throwing myself at you ever since we first met.”

“No you haven’t,” she says.

“Yes, yes, I have.” Dave says as he leans into kiss her. She drops her hands and puts her arms around his waist.

The pasta water bubbles over.

“Oh no, the pasta,” Cat says as she reaches for a spoon.

“We can go out for dinner,” Dave says pulling her close to him.

She smiles as George starts to snore again. Dave stops.

“You really thought that was me,” he asks. “That is disgusting.”

“I didn’t know what to think,” Cat says smiling as she takes his hand. “Just let me get changed,” she says planning a nice outfit for dinner. She pats her dishelved hair and runs her hands down her legs feeling the edges of her tattered shorts.

“No, no,” Dave says, “you're perfect just like that.”